To Help Serve You Better

What is your member number?"

"1646429," I over-enunciate to minimize matrix-hell.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand what you said. Say your member number again."

"1-6-4-6-4-2-9," I say clearer and louder.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand what you said. Say your member number again."

"I said my member number!" I know this comment will backfire.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand what you said. Say your member number again."

"Six-four-six-four-two-nine!" Why should it work this time? But I can't help myself.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean. Say your member number again."

"Customer service!" This phrase works sometimes.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean. Say your member number again."

"Customer service!" Now everyone in my office is listening.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean. Please hold for the next available agent."

Finally.

"You have reached customer service. Please select from the following four options."

Arrgh!