The Amazing Race: New Zealand

All eight teams get on the same flight to Auckland, New Zealand. So the race starts off as a close one.

But Ty and Aja get a flat tire driving to the first stop, Gulf Harbour. Ty mentions he has never dealt with a flat tire before. Wouldn't that be The Amazing Race basic training: drive stick shift, change flat tires, read maps and get in the best shape possible?

The fourth installment of The Amazing Race provides many quotable lines. One of the blondes says, "I wonder if they like blondes in New Zealand?" The smarter of the two replies, "I think they have blondes in New Zealand." But smarter is relative, as I notice the blondes stumble over the words in the clues as they read them aloud.

I'm still leary of the brother-and-sister team, Nick and Starr. Starr speaks of how they have formed an "adult relationship." Ewwww.

Ken and Tina untie their Gordian knot faster than they unraveled their marriage and opt for the Fast Forward. They must climb the Auckland Sky Tower, the highest point in the southern hemisphere. This feat earns them a helicopter ride to the Pit Stop and an easy win.

Maori Warriors

The rest of the teams face New Zealand Maori Warriors at the summit of Mt. Eden, a latent volcano. They must match the tattoo on a printed card to the warrior with the same tattoo. Not easy, with the Maoris stomping around and grunting. Dallas says the only thing he was thinking while Toni faced the warriors was, "please don't eat my mom." That would have made some good television as well as good eats.

Then the teams race to a downtown rooftop and look for Gnomes with binoculars. One racer is overheard saying "here, gnomie, gnomie." Good advertising for Travelocity. The more blatant the product placement, the less it bothers me.

Next, the teams choose jumping in a bin and stomping kiwis (the fruit, not the people) with their feet and squeezing 12 quarts of juice out, or assembling blowcarts and taking the carts for three laps around a track. Everyone goes for the kiwi option, but that task turns out to be surprisingly hard on the feet.

One of two teams to actually complete the juicing task, the divorcees comment on the exfoliating power of the hairy fruit. Another racer comments, "This looked so much more fun when Lucy and Ethel did it."

Viewers will have to wait 'til next week to see if Starr really broke her arm when crashing her blowcart or if she is just a whiner.

A sheep farm called Summerhill is the next Pit Stop and Phil's Dad is on the mat to greet the finishing racers. He gives special hugs to console the blondes who come in last and are finally eliminated.