The Little Bummer Boy Gives It a Rest

The Little Drummer Boy is the Star Spangled Banner of Christmas songs.

Singers attempt this monotonous song at their own peril. Many a foolish pop star has taken on the challenge to prove the breadth of their talent. But like our national anthem, the song exposes the weakness of singers who dare to record it.

Below are the ridiculous lyrics to the first verse:

Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum
A newborn king to see, pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum,
Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum
So to honor him, pa rum pum pum pum
When we come.

The song has no melodic highs or lows. Trying to sing "pa rum pum pum pum" in a sweet voice with a straight face is programming for failure.

Rosemary Clooney, Marlene Deitrich, Bob Seger, Whitney Houston, and Joan Jett are among the many who have recorded the song. Bing Crosby and David Bowie performed a duet version on the 1977 Bing Crosby Christmas Special. To me, their rendition made the statement:

"I, Bing Crosby, am the greatest singer of my generation. I anoint David Bowie as the greatest singer of his generation. I pass the baton with the most interesting version of the most boring song in the world. Future generations will look back at this and marvel at the talent around this piano."

I also dislike the 1968 stop-action tv show created around the song. The jerky movements of Aaron, the stiff clay doll who plays the lead, are like the awkward sounds of the song itself.

Yesterday, I heard the best version I have ever heard of The Little Drummer Boy. The soulful Lou Rawls is the only man who makes the "pa rum pum pum pums" sound fluid and unawkward. Perhaps if I had only heard Rawls' version, and not been scarred by previous versions, I might even like the song.