Bacon Explosion Backlash

The popularity of the Bacon Explosion is a backlash to the anti-obesity message saturating the media. Behind every hot trend, a backlash eventually follows. Introducing the barbecue phenomenon, The New York Times says:

For a nation seeking unity, a recipe has swept the Internet that seems to unite conservatives and liberals, gun owners and foodies, carnivores and ... well, not vegetarians and health fanatics.

I object to The Times' implication that only vegetarians and health fanatics will object to this smoked meat monstrosity. "Fanatic" implies over the top, but even folks with a modicum of concern about their health should cringe at this dish.
I propose a backlash to the backlash.
Four pounds of piggy is the nutritional equivalent of running out of numbers on the National Debt Clock. Add in a jar of barbecue sauce and a jar of barbecue rub.
There are about 12,000 milligrams of sodium in the meat alone. The sauce and the rub send the sodium count to the moon. Move over Fettucini Alfredo, there is a new Heart Attack on a Plate.
After eating this, you will feel pork grease coursing through your veins and diluting your blood. The Times' estimate of 5,000 calories and 500 grams of fat sounds low. The Burnt Finger BBQ team recommends the pig log be cooked in a smoker, so the extra carcinogens of smoked meat can be sealed in.
There is more than one way to waste food. Don't let a cute, smart pig die in vain.