The Amazing Race 14: Novosibirsk, Russia

Christie and Jodi, a team with a few lucky breaks under their belts, are the first racers to start. The flight attendants' rolling bags have turned into backpacks. Rolling luggage might be bumpy over the frozen Siberian tundra.
As his team begins, screenwriter Mike says, "Let the first become last, and the last become first." That biblical quote would be prescient.
As fat snowflakes drift down, Kisha and Jen have this exchange:

--I ain't trying to walk around Russia
--Why not? It's beautiful!
--Beautiful, my ass

Teams must ride the Trans Siberian Railroad for 400 miles to Novosibirsk, Russia, then race to the Punkt Tehnicheskogo, Osmotra for their next clue.
All teams will be on the 10:20 pm train. The early teams must wait around ten hours until departure. The overnight train, equipped with sleeper cars, make for an easy 24-hours for the racers. But as soon as the train pulls into Novosibirsk, all the teams dive into race mode and make a mad dash from the train.
One of the stuntmen runs out onto a heavily trafficked boulevard. "Being stuntmen, we do know how to get hit by cars," he says.

Amazing Race Alliances

Last week, I criticized teams that take offense at using the U-Turn. This week, my beef is the "assumed alliance".
Being nice does not create an alliance. Jaime/Cara and Luke/Margie have the only real alliance of the race.
The girls call out to Luke and Margie to follow their cab driver. Cara gets angry at her cab driver for smoking a cigarette instead of "racing". Cara has a habit of berating cab drivers, and assuming they don't understand English.
Margie and Luke lose Jaime/Cara, but they spot and follow Tammy/Victor. Tammy/Victor stop for directions and take off without sharing the directions or waiting for Margie/Luke. Margie is angry and says Victor showed his true colors.
No deal had been struck between the teams. Some teams think friendly words constitute an alliance. When teams purposely mislead or lie to each other, that is dirty pool. Unless teams state: "let's help each other get to this destination," all bets are off. Most alliances are fleeting in this game and I'm tired of teams' perceived sense of betrayal.

Detour: Russian Bride or Russian Snowplow

In Bride, teams choose a manual transmission car known as a Lada, go to an Soviet-era apartment complex and search for one of the waiting brides. Teams must drive the bride across town to her waiting groom. Once the photographer snaps a photo, the groom hands off the next clue.
Jovial Mike says he doesn't choose the easiest option, he chooses the detour that sounds more fun.
"I'd rather party with virgin brides than snowplows," he says.
Christi and Jodi stop for directions at a gas station. But it's useless trying to get directions from "wasted" guys with "disgusting teeth" that "reek of vodka". Christi/Jodi wisely disregard the buffoons' misdirections.
Christi and Jodi feel bad that their bride isn't getting married under the best conditions. They say, "If we really came to your wedding, we would have dressed better." A sweet sentiment. I wonder if the bride and groom are actors. Christi and Jodi take a freezing, unhappy bride to the wrong church.
"She thinks we're trying to kill her," says Jodi.

In Snowplow, teams also grab a Lada and drive downtown to a stadium. Each team member must take a turn at driving the jumbo snowplow through a zigzag training course. Jaime and Cara have some trouble communicating (again) with the snowplow drivers. But they, along with Mike/Mark and Tammy/Victor, finish the task with relative ease. Victor was digging the ride, almost as much as he loved the Leg 1 bungee jump. Tammy/Victor finish the Detour first.

Driving Stick

I wonder what percentage of Americans know how to drive a manual transmission these days. Less than half, I bet.
With seven teams driving, only a couple have mastered the art of the stick shift.
Tammy: "We don't tend to break the Asian stereotypes very often, sadly." Females are the only group I am aware of that stereotypically can't drive stick. Tammy, I don't break that stereotype either.
If you can't drive stick, just stay in first gear, who cares about the longevity of the car? That's Jen's motto. I like her more and more each episode.
Jen has the most trouble with the manual transmission. At one point she can't move the car forward and a bus is coming at her, but she pulls it out.

Roadblock: Running without Shame

Now teams drive to the largest bibliotekah (library) in Siberia. It also has the longest, most unpronounceable name.
Margie/Luke are first to the Roadblock. One team member must run a winter marathon in their underwear. The lucky racer must warm up for ten minutes, and run 1.4 miles to the Pit Stop, the town's ballet and opera theater.
Our mothers always told us to wear clean underwear and here we add another reason besides a potential car accident.
Tammy says, as she strips down, "I'll never be able to come to Russia again."
This task gets the attention of the locals. A police car turns blips his siren on for a second in appreciation of an NFL cheerleader running in her underwear. American police would have stopped her.
Jen said, "I had to actually change into underwear because I don't wear any." I knew there would be one person who went commando. After the minus 4 Celsius run, Jen said, "People were whistling at me and I didn't mind it one bit."
Jodi was wearing a thong and the editors had to blur her butt. Despite their best efforts and great attitude, Christi/Jodi face Phil, the last team to reach the mat.
But this round turns out to be the first non-elimination round. Relieved, Jodi says, "I was hoping I did not run through those street nekked for nothin'."