The Amazing Race 16: Chile

Another season and another slate of racers.
TAR seems to be going for the celebrity angle this season. One couple are Big Brother reality veterans and one racer is the Miss Teen South Carolina whose babbling onstage played for millions on YouTube. One dude, Joe, could be a Jon Gosselin double.
The racers must get to LAX on public transportation, a jaw dropping task. "Who takes the bus in LA? Public transportation to us is not using the valet parker," said Carol, the blonde lesbian. She will be the quotable one this season.
The teams disperse and start asking people on the street how to get to LAX. The black lawyers say, "oh black person, good," and rush up to a car for directions.
The gay brother knows Miss Teen South Carolina's public flub by heart and repeats it to the camera and again to another team within earshot of Caite. I start rooting for her.
The real dumb one is the chick from the Big Brother House, whose shining moment was explaining that she doesn't understand what people mean when they talk about time, using phrases like "quarter til".
TAR replays both girls' low moments during the show.
It is predetermined only three teams will get on the first flight. Four teams on the Metro think they're first and wonder which team will not make the plane. Four teams riding the same bus think the same, but they really are first. Like every season, all the racers are cocky until the first Roadblock.
As Brandy predicts and hopes, the first plane is delayed in Dallas, the transfer city. All teams fly to Santiago, Chile via Miami on the same plane.
The cowboy team get the wrong currency in LAX. They ask for "the Brazil money". They feel foolish when they get kicked off the local bus in Chile and must re-exchange their money.
In Santiago, teams take buses 60 miles to Valparaiso, the San Francisco of South America. A few stray dogs are caught on camera.
We hear the first of a million cries of "Rapido!". Big Brother girl covers her eyes in the taxi. The two detectives tell the cab driver, "drive it like you stole it, my brother!"

"Balance of a Cat, Courage of a Lion"

The first Roadblock requires balancing 120 feet above the ground and walking a cable the length of a football field.
On the wire, Miss SC proves herself. She is fearless on the cable wire. Big Brother girl moves across the wire handily too.
Brandy is quaking on the cable walk. She takes a long time to get across, but she will be the first of many who get in trouble on the wire.
A couple of people fall off the cable and hang by their belts. The safety specialist has to come to rescue contestant Adrian. He bravely starts again, even though it is already clear he and his wife will be eliminated. He falls again and my heart goes out to him.
After the cable walk, teams take 120-year-old "Funiculars" down the mountain. The Funiculars look like school buses with one side on stilts.
The guy mocking Caite admits he underestimated her. Except she and Brent will incur a 30-minute penalty for skipping the Funicular. Read your clues closely, everyone.

Painting Houses

The streets of Valparaiso are full of brightly painted homes. Each team must select four paint cans of a single color, grab a ladder and find the house with an exterior of that color and finish the paint job.
Father-daughter team Steve and Allie trespass inside someone's house and start painting away. The guys inside laugh at them and say in Spanish how bad they paint.
Dan and Jordan drop a brush and fear it will incur a penalty. They are correct; they get a 15 minute penalty. The guy who keeps saying "snap!" is getting annoying. He should get a 15-minute penalty just for that.
"We're looking for the Martha Stewart sea foam green circa 1997," Carol says, "Before jail."
The first Pit Stop is Palacio Baburizza, 90-year-old chalet. Jordan and Jeff, the Big Brother team, come in first. Jet and Cord, the cowboys, come from far behind--last actually--to finish third. They have shown they are "not just some hicks from Texas" (except in the area of currency).
The detectives who were going to win every leg came in ninth.